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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27674672">second life</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ansutazu/pseuds/ansutazu'>ansutazu</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Kagerou Project, Mekakucity Actors</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, lapslock, not even gonna tag this as anything bc idk what this is either</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 00:07:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,223</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27674672</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ansutazu/pseuds/ansutazu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>ayano asks shintaro if she could write a song. // shinaya one-shot, post-str.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kisaragi Shintaro &amp; Tateyama Ayano, Kisaragi Shintaro/Tateyama Ayano</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>second life</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">when words just aren’t enough, there’s a persistent urge to sing out loud. expressing those overwhelming emotions pairs well with a tune tinged with the color of its mood — or maybe not. the juxtaposition of an upbeat tempo and lyrics crafted around the sadder parts of human nature (or vice versa, or just about anything else in between) makes for a more captivating song, a more thoughtful experience. you <em>have </em>to listen to it more than once. which is why —</p><p class="p1">let’s rewind a bit.</p><p class="p1">it had been a few months since ayano had stepped foot back into the realm of the living. her heartbeat is an unknown yet welcome presence, escalating to a loud pounding in her ears when it gets a little too quiet. it helps when she listens to music, especially ones that shintaro’s made. they may be ‘unfinished messes’ — he calls them that, seriously — but she likes them.</p><p class="p1">she’s never been musically inclined, but she finds it fascinating when shintaro composes his music. she doesn’t exactly know what button does what, what different notes mean, what a lot of the terms means, but she could appreciate just how…<em>freeing</em> it all is. there’s a lot of thoughts in her head — perhaps this could be a way to let them all out.</p><p class="p1">it’s part of the reason why she asks for lessons from shintaro when her birthday comes around. “it seems like fun!” she says, smile present on her face as always. “maybe i’ll be good at it when i know at least the basics.”</p><p class="p1">“…is that really what you want for your birthday? are you sure?”</p><p class="p1">“i’m positive.”</p><p class="p1">“all because it seems fun?”</p><p class="p1">there’s another part to it all, and for a second, she hesitates — and then she realizes there’s no point in doing that. she’s fortunate enough to be able to escape the haze. she should live life freely. she laughs. “well, that, and i want to know why you like it so much, too. i want to know about the things you like.”</p><p class="p1">shintaro looked like he was about to pass out.</p><hr/><p class="p1">“i’m not sure where to start with making it,” ayano sighs, pouting at the computer screen with shintaro’s music program. “having a blank canvas is hard.”</p><p class="p1">“well, do you have an idea in mind, at least?” shintaro asks. “can you hum a bit of it?”</p><p class="p1">the idea is…well, she wanted it to be somewhat of a surprise, but it can’t be helped that it might be a little too complex with just the basics. shintaro had spent hours and hours teaching her all of them, but…</p><p class="p1">…but she still wants to convey them, the words she’d been stuck with while in the haze. she wants them out in the world, existing in some shape or form. “well, i kind of want the chorus to be something like this.” she hums the sound she had in mind just a little bit, eyebrows furrowing at a certain point when she doesn’t like the sound of it out loud, changing it on the spot until she says she’s got it, humming the final sound she’s satisfied with. “a sound like that! is it…possible?”</p><p class="p1">“that…sounds pretty good, actually.” ayano can’t help but be a proud after seeing shintaro’s surprised face. “and your voice fits it — your voice is really good. it’s got a nice color.”</p><p class="p1">“ah…it was just some humming though, it’s…thanks.”</p><p class="p1">an awkward silence — that is, until shintaro clears his throat, taking his computer mouse and clicking something on the screen. “i think we could add some of this, first of all…”</p><hr/><p class="p1">ayano’s left to her own devices when momo drags shintaro out of his room to get some groceries. she zeroes in on the screen, looking at the instrumental to her song. there’s more to her song now; the verses, the chorus, the bridge — they all have instruments behind them, a sound that she likes, a song she’s proud of. of course, she couldn’t have done it without shintaro’s help, but…seeing it laid out like is a feeling unlike any other. perhaps it's more than just a feeling and more of a mixture of them. either way, it's nice.</p><p class="p1">all that’s left is the lyrics.</p><p class="p1">there’s so many words to fit, and only so little time…the only solution is to be concise. but that proves to conflict with her indecisiveness, her second guesses, not because she’s hesitating in saying them out loud — no, she wants to pick the <em>right </em>words to say out loud. she wants each word to mean something, to play a role in the song.</p><p class="p1">thank god she’s alone for all this, but the quiet…aware of her heart once again, she stares at the blank notepad, playing the song in her head. her heart is oh-so loud, oh-so present, but it speaks of something other than existing on this earth. its words are of an emotion she’s so sure of, something she’s always wanted to say.</p><p class="p1">the words in her head and her heart’s conversation are the same, but perhaps, instead of picking logically, she should let her heart do the talking. its emotions spill onto the paper, and she writes.</p><hr/><p class="p1">ayano had told shintaro of her desire to record the vocals to her song, to which he quickly obliges, pulling out a mic from one of his desk’s drawers and plugging it in. “this mic is mostly for…gaming,” he says, gesturing to it with awkwardness in his voice, “but it’s clear.”</p><p class="p1">shintaro briefs her on how to record herself, showing her where the red button is, where the audio will go, how to delete something if she doesn’t like that take. it’s a lot, but she soaks it up — she wants to get this recording just right.</p><p class="p1">“there’s usually multiple takes and people piece together the best parts of the recording.”</p><p class="p1">“do they sometimes just…sing the whole thing?”</p><p class="p1">“sometimes. why?”</p><p class="p1">“can i try that?”</p><p class="p1">shintaro blinks. “i guess you can? it’s just…<em>why</em>, though?”</p><p class="p1">“i just want to hear what it sounds like…all the way, i guess.” (it’s a lie, but the reason will come in just a few seconds.)</p><p class="p1">“alright…”</p><p class="p1">“…and i want you to hear it that way. all of it at once.”</p><p class="p1">“ah. okay.”</p><p class="p1">once again, an awkwardness fizzles any sort of further communication. shintaro only sits down on his bed, giving ayano the thumbs-up to start recording.</p><p class="p1">it’s a shoddy set-up — no acoustic foam, nothing to mask outside sounds, but it’s fine. it’s enough. shintaro’s audience participation is all ayano needs at this point. she puts on one side of the headphones, her notepad with her lyrics in her hands. with a deep breath, she presses record.</p><p class="p4">
  <em>if i am given a second life<br/>i may live and breathe differently compared to now<br/>among the streets we’ll walk past each other without knowing<br/>i hope we remember each other<br/>even in our next life<br/>even at that time, i’ll go to you</em>
</p><p class="p1">when she’s done, she doesn’t stop the recording. you could probably hear her heart in the audio file. she turns to shintaro, wondering what face he could possibly be making.</p><p class="p1">his cheeks were a bright red, and so was hers. nonetheless, she’d done it — she’d conveyed her feelings. she offers up a shy smile. “what’d you think?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i’ve been going back and forth about whether or not to write something, but if you’re reading this, i guess you could guess the answer i came to. woozi’s birthday live inspired me. it’s really short, but hopefully it gets the point across.</p><p>happy (late-ish) birthday to my favorite character and my emotional support kpop boy. you both mean a lot to me. i don’t know why fate decided to give you two the same birthday, but i guess it works out.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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